One-Sided Texting: Are You Carrying the Conversation?

Look across several exchanges rather than one unanswered text. Your normal rhythm is the starting point: what changed, how often it happens, and whether you have already discussed it.

• You reopen most conversations after long gaps
• You ask questions, but rarely receive a question back
• You repeatedly follow up because a direct question goes unanswered
• You propose plans, but the other person rarely makes them concrete

In a fictional 1,000-message export, Alex sends 700 messages and Jordan sends 300. Alex’s message share is 70%. But Jordan might write longer replies, so the word share could be more even. Message count and effort are related observations, not the same thing.

If Alex also starts 16 of 20 marked exchanges and repeatedly receives no answer to planning questions, several observations align. That makes it worth asking about reciprocity; it still does not establish Jordan’s private intentions.

A person can write brief messages and still arrange dates, remember what you said, and show up consistently. Another can send paragraphs while leaving every practical decision to you. Message length alone misses that difference.

An export also omits calls, other messaging apps, and time spent together. Check whether those interactions balance the chat before deciding that its numbers represent the whole relationship.

Textopsy calculates message and word share, conversation starts after six-hour gaps, consecutive sends, and average reply gaps. The free preview gives you a first comparison; the paid AI report adds interpretation and examples from sampled messages.

The parser does not automatically count completed dates or measure how much someone cares. Check proposed plans against what actually happened and review the methodology for the exact counting rules.

Name the behavior and the request: “I notice I usually make our plans. Could you choose what we do next week?” That is clearer than asking whether you are too needy or accusing them of a motive.

Then judge their answer and follow-through over time. If the arrangement stays uncomfortable for you, you can set a boundary without proving a diagnosis or winning an argument about percentages.